Tweeted by me the day of the event:
“The most embarrassing thing in the history of the world just happened to me. Don’t even ask. Maybe in a yr I’ll be recovered & ready to talk”
And then,
“Just when I thought it couldn’t get ANY worse….IT DID. This one could go down in the record books. How will life go on after this…? ; )”
***Warning: You will get to know me a bit more personally if you read this post***
The stage must be set before we begin: First, if you know anyone I work with, or happen to work in the same office with me…I trust you will spare my life, and keep this post and it’s contents to yourself.
Those of you who have known me personally for even a short period of time know that a couple of years ago a lovely Dr. in Las Vegas, NV. diagnosed me with the very common yet incurable disorder known as “I.B.S.” (That’s Irritable Bowel Syndrome) There are various symptoms of this lovely disorder, many of which I do not have. The main symptom I do suffer (Or, should I say, my wife suffers) is…GAS. You see, I was having incredibly sharp pain in my abdomen. It’s become known around our house as “the knife pain”. When “the knife pain” comes there is but ONE option. Release the pressure that is causing this terrible pain. There IS NO OPTION two (Morgan). “But Aaron, you can control that! Just hold it in!” Excuse me? Here’s how it works, it’s very simple-I hold it in, I suffer. Release it, I have relief…

While there is no cure for I.B.S. most people can figure out which foods particularly upset their stomach. We have some guesses, and the ones we’re sure of I simply enjoy too much to stop eating. For example, I love fruit & fruit smoothies. When I eat an apple, you don’t want to be around me for at least the next 6 hours. No lie. Nonetheless, I have learned to live with this unfortunate disorder. Apparently, those around me have not…
I recently started a new job with a start-up company here in Austin. It’s exciting, and I have thoroughly enjoyed this first week of work…Thursday morning took a turn for the worse…not for my co-workers, or the company I work for necessarily – I was the only one from my company in the office this early…
Because we’re a start-up we currently lease some office space from another company that has an extra office. These are friendly, respectable people. It’s great, we have everything we need from a receptionist to a Keureg coffee machine in the lounge, and a copy room with every office supply item you can think of. There’s healthy/organic snacks, and a water dispenser as well. Again, this is a nice place – fancy if you will. While myself, and my co-workers come & go when we want, dress however we like, etc. we are surrounded by nicely dressed, responsible grown adults…
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It was a Thursday morning in Austin. My alarm went off. As I pulled the covers off there was a potent odor released into the air. Apparently, “the knife” had visited me in my sleep – luckily, my body was able to “release the pressure” throughout the night without waking me. I woke up feeling quite crappy, so this nostril stinging smell did not help the situation. (Many of you are now feeling very sorry for poor Morgan…who sometimes experiences this, as she usually wakes up before me – therefore, she’s the first to pull the covers back-unleashing the wrath of my I.B.S.) Nonetheless, I got up, got dressed, ate breakfast and headed out for work. My stomach was feeling weird…I could sense “the knife” plotting an attack. So, I did what I had to, and spent the 20 minute drive to work “releasing the pressure” – yes, I cracked the window down – what do you think I am, some sort of sicko?
I thought I had taken care of the issue as I pulled into the parking lot. To be honest, this was the worst scent my body has produced in all the years since we found out I had I.B.S. I got out of the car somewhat relieved that I had defeated “the knife”, and headed up the elevator to the office. Walking in the door I smiled and said a friendly, “good morning” to the receptionist as I made my way to the lounge to put my lunch in the fridge, and get my cup of coffee. You see, although I had taken care of the worst of the problem in the car I knew I needed to drink a good strong cup of joe to get the ol’ bowels a movin’ – best way to start the day – ask anyone. This is when it (by “it”, I mean “it part 1″) happened…
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I was all alone in the lounge, and had come in a bit earlier that morning – there weren’t too many people in the office yet. As my coffee was brewing I felt “the knife” creeping up. As the air bubble in my stomach filled up I began this thought process:
“Ok, there’s NOBODY in here. I can let this one out, get my coffee, and get the heck out. The smell will go away before anyone else comes in here……………………………………………………but wait, what if someone comes in? I don’t have a choice ….aw hell, I’ve always been a risk-taker. I’m doin’ it…”
It was at that moment that I new this was not going to turn out good for Aaron Snow. I “released the pressure”, grabbed my coffee, and turned for the door only to find a fellow office-mate (who worked for the other company) entering the room headed directly for the cloud of odor, which smelled the color green. He was smiling, and took a nice, deep early morning gasp of air through his nose as if to say, “what a beautiful morning-it’s a good day today”. I held my breath, gave an awkward smile, and walked out. It was all in slow motion and Matrix-like as we passed one another. I swear I saw his face cringe as he passed through the cloud. I hurried to my office, which was directly across from the lounge, and had a window I could look through across the hall into the tainted territory. I closed the door quickly and sat at my desk…
The next five minutes included beads of sweat, blushed cheeks, and racing terrified thoughts. I watched through the corner of my eye as, one by one, everyone in the office entered the lounge somewhat puzzled. The first victim was explaining something to each person with a confused look on his face. They were frantically opening cabinets, the fridge, and the trash can. They were searching for the answer that only I had….but would NEVER, ever, under any circumstances share with them. In the middle of their search, victim number one knocked on my office door. I motioned through the window for him to come in, and stood up to greet him. Our conversation was as follows:
Him: “We’re smelling some sort of odor in the break room that we’ve never smelled before…like rotten eggs, or sulfur or something…did you notice it when you were in there…?”
Me: (With every ounce of acting skill I acquired in theater class in 9th grade): “Hmmm…ya know I didn’t notice anything, but my nose is stopped up right now. Did you check in the trash can? Could it be some spoiled food?”
Him: “Ya we’ve checked everywhere, and can’t seem to find where it’s coming from.”
Me: “That’s weird…..now that I think about it I may have noticed something faintly…huh.”
I began questioning my deceptive choice to lie to this man who HAD to know what I had done. But it was too late now. I was in too deep. There was no turning back. I made a decision, and had to follow through.
He changed the subject, introduced himself, and began asking me about our new company. The conversation went on for several minutes, and before he exited my office it seemed as if I was in the clear. The lounge was empty, he had seemingly forgotten about the incident, and everyone was back to work – I called Morgan and told her what had just happened. She laughed harder than I’ve heard her laugh in a while, and told me it served me right. Then, I got out my phone, and tweeted,
“The most embarrassing thing in the history of the world just happened to me. Don’t even ask. Maybe in a yr I’ll be recovered & ready to talk” -
I was off the hook…
…..?
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Remember when I said “by ‘it’ I mean ‘it part 1′”? (As if what had just happened wasn’t bad enough…my FART didn’t clear a room out – it was so bad it drew the entire office IN to try and figure out where the dead & rotting animal was. Then, I lied straight to my office-mates face! Not sure if grace covers an incident like this…)
A few minutes went by and that cup of jo started to kick in. I’m convinced a good strong cup of coffee is the best way to stay regular. What’s all this “fiber talk” about lately. Pshh, just give me a good strong cup of coffee dadgumit. I thought, “this is good. I can go to the bathroom, take care of my business, and ‘the knife’ will be gone for the rest of the day.” I got up and headed for the water closet. (bathroom for all you Americans-sorry, I’m feeling witty now) As I relaxed comfortably on the throne I noticed someone in the stall next to me. “Shit“, I thought. (Literally) Let’s just say the next minute or so was not exactly quiet, or particularly fresh. Poor guy next to me was probably traumatized. Turns out the guy next to me happened to be another guy from the company we share the office with. (I know this because I peaked through the crack in the stall when he went to wash his hands) He also happened to be one of the investigators in the lounge earlier when everyone was about to call an exterminator. I hope you’re following me here…in the lounge he experienced a smell like he had never experienced before. He would remember that odor the rest of his life-not to mention 5 minutes later.
Unfortunately, I’m the only one in the office who where chuck’s to work. They are quite noticeable – not your typical black Converse All Stars…he saw them. He knew it was me. He put two and two together. I was the rodent in the lounge. He had found me out. Now the question was, “will he tell the others that he now knew what they couldn’t figure out earlier?” I could just hear him in my head saying, “You guys aren’t gonna believe this! That new kid with the tattoos ripped one in the lounge! THAT’S what we were smelling! I was just in the restroom while he was tearing it up, and smelled the same thing!”
I sat on the jon humiliated, wondering how in the world I would walk back into that office, and spend the rest of my day working there…I pulled my phone out and tweeted, “Just when I thought it couldn’t get ANY worse….IT DID. This one could go down in the record books. How will life go on after this…? ; )”
Life goes on. I.B.S. still taunts me. “The knife” lingers waiting for an opportunity to torment me. I will never forget that Thursday morning in January the first week of my new job in a new place with new people when my body produced the unspeakable odor. I hope you have enjoyed this story, and it gave you a good laugh. I don’t know how I would have made it through if it wasn’t going to produce something positive like some good humor for a few. Bye for now, off to go make a fruit smoothie.
“Preaching” vs. “Good Teaching”
31 12 2010A close friend of mine who I love and respect asked me this question over text message a couple weeks ago:
“What role does preaching play in simple/house churches? Strengths, weaknesses, ways it could grow, ways it could teach the church.”
This friend of mine has been a part of many types of churches. We have also had the pleasure of starting a house church with his family and some others. He is sharp, loves Jesus, and wants the best for The Church. We have an incredible relationship, and sharpen one another in the areas we may disagree. The mutual respect is refreshing in a day in time where it seems all anyone wants to do is argue their viewpoint. My friend places a high value on “good teaching” (primarily in the form of sermon style preaching) I do not yet have the answer to this “issue” in terms of a house church setting. Below are the initial thoughts I sent back to him via email regarding this topic based upon our observations and past several years pursuing Jesus in the context of simple/organic/house church settings: (Would love to hear your thoughts on either/both ends of the spectrum. Us “house churchers” definitely have a lot to learn about how to champion “good teaching” & placing a high value on the Word of God in our various settings)
“Hey buddy,
The role of “preaching” in simple/house/organic churches is relatively non-existent in my experience. However, in some older generations of house churches their gatherings look much like a typical church service in a living room. The only difference is the type of structure they meet in…(even chairs in rows, and a podium, etc.-haha!=) In our experience (much different from the above described older generation HC’s) we have moved from a desire for good “preaching” to the pursuit of healthy’good “teaching”. (These are not synonymous in my mind, and the minds of many we have observed/practiced with) You see, many of us spent most of our lives listening to sermons. While they are not completely absent from the lives of those pursuing “house church”, it typically does NOT happen in a house church gathering for various reasons, and on purpose. (many may continue to find good sermons online and enjoy listening to them for various reasons) Our reasons for not involving “sermon style teaching” are numerous, but the most basic are below:
1) Practically speaking it has been proven that humans retain about 20% of what they hear. The percentage goes up drastically as you factor in SEEING (visual), WRITING, DOING, etc. So, I look at it (preaching) as a very use of time/energy based upon those findings. I know that growing up I was lucky to remember more than 1-2 “good points” I heard from a sermon. I might remember a bit more if I took notes-rarely would those notes be referenced in the future.
2) In a HC setting there is a high value for EVERYONE participating. If one person is PREACHING this becomes difficult, and we fall right back into spectators coming to hear a sermon. We place a high value on the Holy Spirit speaking to every believer, and know that Spirit speaks to everyone for the mutual edification of the body.
3) So, we seek for what we feel to be more effective ways to “teach”/equip the body. Of course, we are far from figuring this out, and it constantly changes as we pursue being more effective. Here are some examples of things we’ve done in the past:
-Inductive studies: these involve little to no “prep work” on the part of anyone, but make it easy for a believer of any age (including a brand new believer) to be empowered to play an active role. Sometimes ONE person WILL do some before hand research or read commentaries, etc. in order to guide the group as tough questions come up. This usually involves helping the group to understanding the historical context of the scripture, who is writing, who they are writing to, etc.
-Breaking up into groups to discuss portions of scripture. Coming back together to share findings/revelations/etc.
-Sharing at random what the Lord has been speaking to individuals throughout the week during their own personal time, etc.
-Reading through a section of scripture together and then discussing it as a church family. This is so fun because everyone involved has different backgrounds, knowledge, perspective, etc. Everyone benefits, and walks away sharpened, more equipped, and knowledgeable of the scriptures.
These are just some off the top of my head thoughts/responses to your question. I do think that “GOOD TEACHING” could improve in HC’s, and a higher value placed on studying/knowing scripture. However, I’m not convinced that this will be in the form of sermon style preaching. Again, preaching and teaching are much different to me. I also cannot ignore the sermon style preaching that is found in scripture. I wonder, though, if these types of “preaching moments” took place more in the form of evangelistic pursuits rather than the day to day equipping of disciples who make up the Church…this plays into my strong feelings about church services not being for the purpose of evangelism. Most sermons or churches try to accomplish both discipleship and evangelism in a once/week sermon. This is impossible to do, and BOTH get watered down/suffer.”
Again, I’d love to hear any thoughts/additions from you guys from your experience/convictions regarding this topic. Have fun, and keep it civil! =)
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Tags: aaron snow, bible study, commentary, discipleship, evangelism, good teaching, heresy, Holy Spirit, house church, inductive bible study, intentional gatherings, learning, organic church, preaching, sermon, simple church, teaching
Categories : "church" Planting