“What if…?”

pondering-manThose of you reading who are my loyal Twitter, and Facebook “followers” have already been commenting on many of the “what if?” questions I have been posting over the past week. I am compiling them, and plan on posting an entire entry dedicated to the many different “what if?” questions that I come up with in the process. Please feel free to contribute your own “what if?” questions in the comments section of this post, and I will add them into the compilation. (You are also welcome to leave any thoughts about this particular “what if?” question in the form of a comment)

I felt the need to give this “what if?” question it’s own post because Twitter posts only give you 140 characters…being the detail guy that I am, I had a terribly hard time narrowing this down to 140 characters. In fact, it hurt so bad after I posted the “Tweet” that I decided I HAD to elaborate by posting this blog. Here goes…

“What if” a person’s success, worth, or value was measured by the amount of time they spend with family, friends, and other important people as opposed to how much money they make, how many people they know, the car they drive, the size of their house, how “busy” they are, etc.?

These days a person is accused of being irresponsible or lazy if they work any less than 50 hours/week, and don’t have a hefty retirement fund awaiting them. A person’s importance is weighed by the title they hold at “work”, the square footage of their house, the fanciness of their car…you get the point. Husbands and fathers begin finding their worth in these things rather than the love of their wife and kids. Somehow, in this completely screwy world we live in it is somehow a “difficult” decision for a man to wrestle with choosing between taking the higher paying job that will consume everything, or keep the less paying job so he can pour himself into his wife and kids. Oh wait, he gets the job so he can make money to be able “take care of the kids”, and send them to college, right? That seems to have worked out wonderfully in the last 50 years hasn’t it…?

So, here we are in a time in the world when the people we pledge our lives to in marriage, and the human beings that we create and bring into the world become less important to us than our status, income, retirement fund, comfort, security, and vacations. Everything in me screams out that this is wrong. Though I have VERY intentionally pursued something drastically different in my life, the world, my flesh, and those around me seem to constantly pull me into this vicious cycle of idolatrous sin. I am determined…

Side note: These things have seemingly crept into, and plagued the “church” in America. Oh, the lovely life sacrificed to “ministry”. The amazing titles, and salaries that grow with those titles. The business plans, and elaborate infrastructure. The hiring and firing. The need to perform, succeed, and maximize the “return on our investment”(ROI for you business majors. Oh, and i’m not lying: I was once told that by my “boss” while on staff at an institutional church) The husbands spending hours away from their wives and kids for the “sake of the ministry”, which somehow makes it ok. No need to keep going. Oh wait, the business models, strategies, COMPETITION for numerical growth, and fancy offices. Ok, i’m done.

So, I have made a lifelong commitment to value the TIME I spend with my wife, and children above the amount of money I make, the title/position I hold in any career, etc. I believe, and will continue to rely on the grace of Christ to model that deep relationships with REAL people are more important to me a vacation home in the mountains, TV’s in my car, or a bunch of people knowing who I am, but not KNOWING ME. I believe that I am not at all alone in this pursuit…

Won’t you join me in asking the hard, and gasped at “What if?” questions that MUST be asked…?


11 thoughts on ““What if…?”

  1. What if…. a person’s success was not based on anything in the created world? What if, by the grace of God, a person dies to self and trusts Christ with their entire being? Now all temporary possessions (including homes, cars, lips, thoughts, and time) belong to Christ; it is peaceful to know that it is not up to me to be successful because He is faithful.

    Blessings to you and your family!

  2. Pingback: Great Post by My Buddy in Vegas «

  3. Great post Aaron. I like what you said about people putting time with their family above earning more money to provide the american dream. Having less financially is ultimately having more if you are rich in relationships with those that you love.

  4. I’ve been feeling convicted myself of this lately, realizing that even being around your wife and family a lot, doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re tuned into them, and really making yourself available emotionally and spiritually! It’s so easy to just get wrapped up in the routine stuff, and forget to really engage the people around you. It keeps dawning on me that this family that God has given me is the primary arena where I am first called to be someone who is building up others, helping them to grow and know Christ. If I can’t do that in my own home, then it’s pretty foolish to think that I can do it anywhere else….

  5. Wow, Aaron! Wow, Daniel! What insight. God can’t be tricked… if we do something for a fleshly reason instead of as a natural outpouring of the Spirit, it’s not very pretty even if the intentions were good. I wish I could count the times that I made the “right” choice regarding prioritizing time with my family… and then proceeded to be a jerk! They probably wished I would just go to work or something!! Lol. Seriously, even this is part of the journey. Physical time with people is better than absence, even when we don’t have it together. Daniel, hang in there! Brian, hang in there! I’ve been where you are… keep honestly searching and trusting – the emotional and spiritual presence will come…

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