“Sometimes Love Does Not ‘Feel’ Good”

Jesus has been teaching me a lot lately about abiding in the Truth of His promises no matter what the circumstances. A lot of what He was revealing to me seemed very elementary and cliche’, but powerful nonetheless. These revelations also came in handy in some relationships I have. I hope it blesses you…

“…He wants us to cling so tightly to His promises, and believe in them so much that nothing can phase us – nothing can touch us – and no situation can steal our affections toward Him…”

Last week was very dry for me. I was getting a bit “down” and frustrated wondering “why” I couldn’t “feel” Him, etc. I kept asking “why would He not want me to feel His love all the time!?” It was in those frustrations that He just reminded me how small my understanding of His love is. He wants to know me and me to know Him in such a deep and intimate way – a way that I simply do not understand at this point, but that He wants to teach me. He spoke to me that He was developing FAITHFULNESS and maturity in me during this “dry” season. He wanted to know that I wasn’t just around for the “good ol’ mushy feelings”, but ALSO the “tough/dry” times (which, by the way, are ALSO His love! haha! He totally blew the lid of the box I had put His love in) You see, He spoke to me that a love that is merely a feeling is a shallow and immature love. Sometimes, love doesn’t “feel” good at all. I liken it to this…

When Morgan and I got engaged we were all bubbly, gushy, and FULL of PURE BUTTERFLY “FEELINGS” toward one another. It was great. It was definitely love. However, it was a very limited/surface picture of the love that Jesus wanted to develop in us over time. We didn’t really KNOW each other in such a way that would even allow us to truly LOVE each other. Jesus wants to KNOW us in the ways that allow us to LOVE Him more deeply – yep, that means that there will be times we don’t feel Him at all. Now, Morgan and I still have butterflies for each other =) hehehe. However, our love has matured into something much deeper and more beautiful than it was when we got engaged. It doesn’t “feel”, on the surface” as “good” at times, but we both know it is a special and DEEP kind of love that allows us to know and pursue one another in ways that we NEVER could/would have when we “felt” all gushy during engagement. Make sense? I know you all know this. I just thought I’d share something fresh on my heart Jesus has been teaching me. He blew me up last week with His desire to produce maturity and faithfulness in me that goes so much further and deeper than emotional feelings. He wants us to cling so tightly to His promises, and believe in them so much that nothing can phase us – nothing can touch us – and no situation can steal our affections toward Him.

10 thoughts on ““Sometimes Love Does Not ‘Feel’ Good”

  1. but we both know it is a special and DEEP kind of love that allows us to know and pursue one another in ways that we NEVER could/would have when we โ€œfeltโ€ all gushy during engagement.

    I love this.
    I agree.
    Praise God for how he’s maturing your marriage!
    What a blessing you two are to other couples.

  2. How easily we confuse God with our own experience of Him! And I fully agree with your reading of what God is doing and saying about the deepening of love. Feelings are very important, but they are also very vulnerable things. How I feel is going to be impacted by what I’ve eaten, how much energy I’ve had to expend today, what other people in my life are doing, my state of health and a dozen different lifestyle issues. Sometimes we need a rest. Sometimes we need “headspace”. Sometimes dryness in my feelings is telling me that I need to address some of those other issues.

    This vulnerability of our emotions means that my awareness of God and of his love have to go way beyond my feelings – and that I must learn to recognise other signs of his presence. My awareness of his precence needs to be so broad that – as you put it nothing can phase me.

    Amen Aaron. We’ve got to have a knowledge beyond feelings.

    But in love feelings are important, aren’t they?! And sometimes we need to nurture those feelings in our spouse. We can’t just say to our spouse, “Henceforward I’ll show my love for you in non-gushy ways. Deal with that!” Sometimes we need to nurture those feelings in ourselves. We need at times to invest as much care and thought into our special times with God as we would into a date night or a romantic getaway!

    Sometimes we need not to decry our early emotionality but rather “remember” our first love. I don’t know about you but if I am ever in a bad mood with my wife (nah I’m sure that never happens) I can’t sustain that mood if I see one of our wedding or honeymoon photos. Instantly I remember who the beautiful girl that I’m grumpy with actually is. Instantly I remember that I love her with all my heart and would do anything to let her know that. OK we don’t have “honeymoon photos” of God – but I reckon we have equivalents. For me, the memory of my own journey with God, the current testimony of others and the collected testimony of history constantly serve to deepen my appreciation of God and continually whets my appetite for more of him – if I will just take a little while to stop and reflect.

    Some dsiagree with this point but I agree with you, Aaron, that sometimes the Lord takes a step or two back (from our feelings) precisely because he is wooing us. So take it as a compliment, Aaron, when you feel dry. God is wooing you!

    Thank you for sharing vulnerably Aaron. I love your heart for God. And I resonate with the things you are sharing. Blessings on you four(!) and on your new home. With you in prayer, as always. He’s a good God!!

  3. So, i love how God uses your words to resonate so often what He’s been teaching me. ๐Ÿ™‚ It’s been pretty awesome.

    For a while I felt God’s pursuit in such a powerful way. Then, after going to KC, the feelings stopped. This morning God reminded me of all He had taught me about His love during that time and just showed me that He’s not stopped the pursuit, even if the feelings have faded a bit. I love how God’s love is so big that there is always more to discover, and how’s He pursuing so many people, all at the same time! Wow.

    Praying for you all in Austin. Oh, congrats on the new baby!! ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. I know exactly what you mean Aaron. It would be too easy and would be quite purposeless if we were robots for Jesus feeling badass everyday, hey I read your stuff too man, I and will continue to.

  5. I know what ya mean bro. If we were robots for Jesus feeling badass all the time life in earth would be very meaningless. I read your blog to bro, and I will continue to.

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